When Dreams Change: 50% bitter, 50% sweet

If you know me, or have even just read my previous blogs, you know that D.C. is my favorite place in the world. It’s my Disneyworld, it’s magical, enchanting, and sucks you in and you become quickly attached. You also know that I planned to stay forever after this semester, or at least until I go somewhere abroad, but then come right back. Even when I walked to work last week in 2 inches of snow and almost slipped multiple times on ice, nothing was going to end the loving relationship between me and DC. I was going to graduate from University of Maryland and be a full blooded DC native. It was going to be okay when I left for Christmas because I would be back soon.

Well, last Wednesday that all changed. I’d been researching scholarships and post-grad programs and came across one that is for people wanting to go into public service and is an incredible opportunity. But, you have to be nominated by your university. Because some people plan these things months in advance, I figured TCU would have already nominated its students. But I reached out to professors and found out they would nominate me, but I had to come back. Suddenly, everything I planned to do in DC flashed before my eyes and disappeared.  I was at a crossroads.

So I talked with every wise person I knew, sought advice, and spent hours laying in bed contemplating this decision. To abandon my dreams in DC for a long-shot dream of this program, or to continue on in DC and lose my connections with my professors and programs at TCU, but gain by interning and keeping my connections in politics.

Eventually, I chose to return to TCU and graduate this December (2014). So, I guess I’m kind of a Junior/Senior now, which is crazy. Through the process, I remembered what it was like when I retired from my cross country and track careers. I was devastated at the time, slightly excited for DC, but mostly angry that I fractured my legs and wondered why. I still don’t know why or how it happened, but I know that it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. As many of my friends told me, the opportunities in DC will always be here for you, but this opportunity won’t. And they’re right, sometimes we have to take risks and sacrifice our short-term wishes for long-term potential. Meanwhile, on this day, one year from now, I will be a college graduate.